why?

today~ 11 july 2010..
you find me back..
do u know it has been 4 months u are not contacting me already..
don u think time pass so fast?
aiks...
you find me at msn.. say..
hi..
then i reply u..
are you sending the wrong msg again? >.<
you say no...
that time..
i really don know i should smile or worry..
smile cause u finally find me...
you wont know how much i missed you..
but i worry..
you know why?
cause i afraid to have the feeling of losing you again...
i afraid of crying for u again..
again and again..
u know when u find me..
i got so many question wanna ask u..
wanna ask u why u treat me like that?
wanna ask you why did u leave me?
wanna ask you.. do u ever love me?
wanna ask u.. do u ever miss me?
wanna ask u.. why u find me now...
wanna ask u.. are u going to leave me and hurt me again?

but i couldnt find the answer in my brain..
i was so afraid that the answer was wrong..
i dont even dare to say that i still love you..
i dont even dare to been hurt again..
dont you know that im afraid?
you always confuse me...
you always do stuff confused me..
tell me what should i do to stop all this question in my head???